Is it just me or do compliments mean so much more coming from a man? My Mom, my sisters, my cousins, my aunts, and my girlfriends could sit there all day telling me I was beautiful and I still wouldn't believe it. On the other hand, my Dad, my brothers, my uncles, my cousins, or my guy friends could tell me I am beautiful once and I completely believe them and immediately sign up for a beauty pageant. Why is it that as women the words men say mean so much to us? The kind and genuine compliments that men have paid me over the years have always stayed in my mind, and I treasure them all.
One of my favorite compliments was when I arrived at a formal dance in college, and one of my guy friends looked at me in awe and said, "Precious, seriously precious - that is the only word to describe how you look." Aww, come on...what girl wouldn't remember that compliment. Of course when he first said it all I could imagine was Gollum from Lord of the Rings speaking about his ring - so I was slightly confused, but quickly got over it when I realized he was not being sarcastic.
Or my Papa, God bless his amazing soul, every time I would see him he would make sure to tell me I was beautiful and such a dear soul...and people wondered at why women loved him so much : ) Just saying, when he passed on he was surrounded by 6 women and one man. Things were as they should be, and he left this world surrounded by women! Nice job Papa!
Or just today when I met an older gentlemen who has been in business with my Dad for a while. I told him I was my Dad's daughter, and couldn't he tell because I looked like him? And he said "well you don't have to shave your face that's for sure! You are far too beautiful and perfect just the way you are!" Awww...so sweet...and not creepy. Seriously, sometimes guys really do cross the line and just become creepy. Let me tell you, for every 1 sincere and appreciated comment I get from men, I get 1 creepy comment. Don't guys know that when you say nice things like "You are such a sweet heart and will make some man a very happy husband one day" is soooooooo much better then hearing "You are a pretty little thing....you must keep real busy on the weekends." Really? On what planet does a woman want to hear that? I have also found that for the most part the men who pay the nice compliments are the ones that are happily married...seems like they have figured out the secret to making women happy!
I wonder if we take to heart what men say about us more seriously then what fellow women say because women understand this weird sense of insecurity we all have about things in our life. So since they can understand where we are coming from we feel like they are just saying all these "empty sounding" words in an attempt to set at ease all these insecurities they can relate to. On the other hand, when a man tells us something and we know that he has no idea how insecure we feel - he is just saying it from a somehow more honest, straight forward, and believable place - then somehow we believe it is true too.
Oh how fickle we are! I wonder if men feel the same way about this as women do. Like if a man tells another man "you sure are good at grilling man" it doesn't mean as much compared to if a woman told him the exact same thing. : )
Some feminist thinking women might think that by saying these things I am giving men too much power over my life, but really it isn't that complex and twisted. By taking a compliment to heart I don't feel as if we are giving men power - we are instead allowing them to be the protectors and guardians of our hearts that they were meant to be.
So if you are one of those few and rare men that read my blog go ahead and pay a woman in your life a genuine compliment today. You don't have to necessarily tell her she is beautiful - because trust me telling a not so beautiful feeling woman she is beautiful might cause more pain than happiness - don't ask - it will never make sense. Instead compliment her on something else - maybe her attitude, her care for others, her willingness to help someone, her laughter, her talent, or even her ability to keep the kitchen table clean...seriously! When you notice the little things, it makes our hearts so much more full!
Ladies - you in turn should compliment the men in your life on something. Maybe they always hold the door for you, or maybe they help out with household chores without being asked, or maybe they are just really good listeners. Tell them. Then go make this soup, listen to this song and eat your heart out!
Chicken and Buckwheat Noodle Soup
There is something to be said for the power of a good bowl of chicken soup. It is such a perfect meal, and so soothing to my weary soul.
In large stockpot stir together the following and partially cook through over medium high heat about 4-5 minutes, stirring occasionally:
1 pound boneless, skinless chicken cubed
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp ground oregano
1/8 tsp black pepper
1/8 tsp cayenne pepper
1 TBS Lemon juice
1TBS Olive Oil
Remove chicken pieces from the pan and set aside. Add to the pan:
1 large onion sliced
4 large carrots chopped large
Saute 4-5 minutes. Return the chicken to the pan and add the following:
6-8 cups chicken broth
1 box frozen spinach
1 handful buckwheat soba noodles, broken in half
pinch of chili pepper flakes
Bring to a boil and cook just until noodles are tender. Add more salt if you like or more chili pepper flakes.